Mid City Meddler

Mid City Meddler
By Muffy Junes

Here's a holiday tip to you, yours, and all the Grammas across the land. When inviting guests to your home, DO NOT loudly announce "Everything must go! All beers, one dollar!" Odds are, the family tree will suddenly expand as they trample your new carpet and pee in the bushes, with no consideration given to the fact that Grampa no longer has his favorite recliner to zone out in.

Someone walked out with it.

If you were at Kiwi's Pub & Grub on closing nite (Sat., Nov. 21), you might recall a similar scenario. Or, you may just remember waking up with a large wooden dog beside you, wondering how things ever got so crazy. At any rate, Kiwi's, home of... well, home of lotsa stuff... has officially closed. After almost two and a half years, owner Chris Smedley has decided to go into commercial designing. Between job offers and a newly expanded family, baby-sitting drunks has taken low priority. I wanted to write a short tribute to Kiwi's, because it was such a fun, fair place to work. Instead, I opt to inform you...Kiwi's is haunted.. Ain't no lie, and you may already know. Many people do. Word is, that's part of the reason for the high turnover of businesses in that building.

Formerly known as ( blah, Sunset East, blah, blah and blah), the ghoulings-on have affected lots of people. A few weeks ago, a previous owner, "Spunky Susan," visiting from South America, pulled me aside to inquire on the situation. She proceeded to relay numerous stories of flying pitchers and floating mugs as I distractedly wondered why she felt such a need to talk about this. Is that why she moved to South America? Who is she, anyway? I must have been in L.A. during this time.

One night after "Muffioky," I was sitting at the bar when I heard whispering in my ear. Since the doors were already locked, I expected to see one of the two other people present. They were both busy cleaning up elsewhere. This prompted me to utter.." What the...!" and then the truth came out. Loud footsteps from upstairs, while no customers were present. Occasional "Hello's" that might scare the heck out of you when you're alone. Goosebumps for no apparent reason.

While counting my losses after a late night/early morning poker game, I was thrown into hysterics by the startling claps of invisible hands. Right over my shoulder. No one there. Take it as you may, but it's true, and I KNOW it! Hey, I just figured out why that lady needed to talk...

Thanks, Kiwi's, and here's to the next teller of tales . . .

Recently I noticed that every column I've written has mentioned something about boxer shorts. Weird, how that happened. (Woooo!) I can't explain it, except to say I didn't get any info dealing with boxer shorts this month, so I guess they don't get mentioned. I asked Richard Vier of Wino about this topic, but we ended up talking about his band instead. Here's an example of some guys who may not get a lot of press attention, but a couple of thousand fans have forked out money to buy their music. Like a silent storm, Chad, Aaron and Richard prepare for their seventh release, to be recorded live at Whitney Hall in January. I like that idea. Sounds perfect for capturing that "magic moment." Until then, you can catch up with their catalogue at Ear-Xtacy or Ground Zero. Better yet, go see ‘em. December 2 at 5th Street Pizza.

Have you ever been to Leatherhead? I mean, actually walked inside and taken a look around?

I've walked by it for so many years and just looked inside, wishing someone would buy me something anything custom made from this Highland store. With such a distinguished reputation, I naturally assumed I couldn't afford to even step foot in the door. Now that I've confessed this, baby that I am, I continue by saying I'm not scared anymore. I not only went inside, I had a fun (and informative) time chatting with Nick and Lynn Boone, proprietors.

Nick's got enough hides around there to build an ark. He probably would, too, if he could think of a better angle (without one-upping biblical dudes). Here's an example: although he doesn't consider himself a potential guitar god, he plays a little. Always looking for ways to make things "easier, more balanced and more economical," he created some new stuff. Pickers take note (this is where the trademarks fly)

"Nick's Picks" for starters, and I'm not talkin' Stevie. These little leather puppies won't slip, crack or break. They mold to the shape of your hand. You can have them monogrammed. Just don't lose ‘em. Nick can't help you with that one.

Now. You know that awkward hunk of faux-meat plasticity you've been hangin' around your neck to hold your guitar on? Well, let the dog chew on it, ‘coz Nick has the goods for you!

"The Balanced Guitar Strap" is contoured, it conforms to the body. The custom cut of these straps not only distribute the weight of your guitar evenly, providing you with that "light as a feather" performance, but they can look freakin' cool. He's got hand-tooling, drooling, buckles, bells and bingo, baby! Your name here! Get the picture? Liberace out! Man, I wish I played guitar.

Anyhow, I don't, so I'll just go back to admiring shoes. Just in time for Christmas!

Well, stay healthy and sing carols and call me with your band info

(heart) Muffy.