Eddie Metal

News From the Pit
By Eddy Metal

"Don't go out with Eddy Metal, he's the Antichrist!" He's a really bad horrible person, who is responsible for: global warming, the shuttle disaster, locusts, the tsunami in Thailand, Holyfield's ear, the fall of Rome, the big bang, the Titanic, mint Oreos, and to top all that off, he's soooo fat that I heard he went to the grand canyon, tripped, fell in and got stuck!" So sayeth the L.C.A.

The organization I've dubbed The Louisville C***blocking Association. Ha!

In the last 5 months, I've noticed that some dudes really are some low mofos the way they c***block these days. People don't even know you and they go out of their way to try to hurt you, when they don't know chit about you. Pathetic.

Of course, people are always going to talk about you when you put your name out there for all to see. It's pretty funny really, some of the stuff I've heard. One dude told a chick I was talking to that I was a horndog who had slept with 20 of his girlfriends. That's totally and completely untrue, it was more like 25. I'm just kidding, people! Ha.

Another a-hole said I was a womanizer who isn't to be trusted. This came from a guy I had never met. It seems these clowns would rather hack off their manhood with a rusty butter knife than to have me date or talk to their female friends.

In all actuality, I'm a teddy bear of a hopeless romantic stuck in today's ruthless dating system. And yet, the weirdest and most uncomfortable topic about me is about the size of my trousersnake. Yet, It's the one good thing I've heard! Ha.

It's very cool that people respect what you do and come up to introduce themselves to tell you so, but when dude's come up to you and say " your Eddy Metal right? I heard you have a big ****," it's kinda fargin weird! And rather uncomfortable to me, however flattering.

So how's about we leave my weinerschnitzel out of topic of the day chat? In fact, I'll give you c***blockers a new topic to explore!

I recently had a big zit on my forehead. It was right dead in the center, (I almost didn't go out on New Year's because of it) and I looked like a Middle Eastern Eddy Metal, complete with turban, ready to wage Jihad on my zit! Aside from this foolishness, it's been kinda slow lately as far as the scene goes. No big national concerts hardly at all. Which is doo-doo. I did get to see Black Stone Cherry, finally (see review) and was blown away by their set, as well as Louisville rockers Hardlein and 2 Pump Chump. And I went to the Intheclear CD release show at Headliners, which sold out! That was a top-notch show, crowded as hell and the best Louisville band CD release show I've probably ever witnessed. My LMN Gathering in January was okay, but I expected a better turnout to be honest. It certainly didn't help having two of the bands on my bill, playing together not even a week before my gig, at the same venue! To me, that was some B.S.

Oh well, I'll get over it; you can't win them all. Ha. In this day and age, a person in the music business has to learn to deal with competition. It's not like before when the scene was way smaller. I've seen new magazines that are coming out month by month now (including a writer who seems to have stolen some of my writing style) and it seems everyone wants to start up a monthly or weekly concert series to support Louisville music. It's all good people, the more the merrier as long as you aren't an a**hole.

I'm here to help any of you in any way I can. All you got to do is ask. In my opinion, the new crop of Louisville music supporters are all a bunch of cool farging people that I get along with very well. Especially a cute lil' brunette vixen I've been sorta seeing here lately.

But I'm still 100% single and still on the prowl like a jungle cat in heat! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Am I cheesy or what? Ha ha.

The Metal Grapevine

Eddy's Myspace: I want all you News From The Pit readers out there to hook up with my Myspace account so I can keep you informed on shows, my column and such that have to do with me, Phoenix Hill and LMN. Myspace.com/Eddymetalrocks

I haven't used Myspace much in the past, but now, I want to expand my 'Friends' list fifty-fold, so get your butts on that computer and look me up!

Sevendust Coming To The Corner: That's right, folks. On Thursday, March 1 at was O'Malley's but is now called The Corner, Sevendust will be in concert with Diecast and maybe even a Louisville act. Last year at Sevendust I was havin' a blast when I fell and about broke my fargin spine on the slick beer-soaked floor. One minute I was chattin' with hotties, the next, searing agony that words cannot describe. My back was purple and blue. It was hideous looking and the worst injury I've ever suffered, by far!

I will be very superstitious this time and will be watching my step! Ha.

This is another show that will definitely rock, so get your tickets early, if you don't want to be left out! Fellas, You might want to go to this show, 'cause Sevendust always attracts some hot chicks! Trust me on this.

Powerman 5000 and Flaw: On March 11 at Headliners, Powerman 5000, the newly reunited Flaw (minus bassist Ryan Jehrs) and openers Anvil Grey will be putting on quite a show for us Louisville rockers. This show will probably sell out, so you might wanna get your tickets ASAP if you want to attend. Otherwise, your chit out of luck.

Now let's just hope that Flaw won't kill each other before the show! Ha ha.

Mastodon Coming: On Wednesday February 21 Terry Harper and the Fox's Attitude Network have put together a cool show for you freaks. Evil, tattooed, weirdo doom rockers Mastodon will be in Louisville at Headliners. Opening the bill will be Stonecutters and Priestess. This should be a great stoner-metal show that will attract a lot of freaks in general, so you know I'll probably be there. Feel free to buy me plenty of frosty beverages! It starts at 8 p.m. Tickets are $15.

Black Stone Cherry Review: I'll be honest, I thought the show would be good, but not this fargin good! My date and I were pretty much blown away by this nationally touring rock/metal/blues band from Edmonton, Kentucky. Louisville opening acts Sulfate, 2 Pump Chump and Hardlein did a great job getting things going for BSC, especially Hardlein and Sulfate. Hardlein is an AC/DC-influenced band that impressed me quite a bit with their performance and energy. Guitarist Tommy Stamper is one great guitarist who was pulling off some different sounding riffage. Vocalist and brother Bobby Stamper has one rockin' AC/DC style voice, pulling off both the highs and lows accordingly. And Sulfate, a newer band from Louisville and Madison, Indiana is a very good band, too.

I was impressed with their sound and stage presence. It's kind of a radio-friendly metal sound that reminds me of newer Metallica, or something very close to that. The vocals of Ryan Nix are pretty darn good and melodic. But make no mistakes, these guys can slam! Check out "Changes" at Myspace.com/Sulfateband and let them know what you think. I like this song.

Then BSC hit the stage and put on one great show. I expected novice but decent players, but I was dead wrong. The two guitarists Ben Wells and Chris Robertson, are darn near guitar virtuosos, who display much emotion and filling in their playing/writing. It's hard to imagine a band so young to be such proficient blues demons, yet here they were cranking out some fat-ass Stevie Ray Vaughn-ish tones/blues scales that sent chills through my innards. You'd expect riffs such as these to come from a sixty-year-old Chicago bluesman, not young guys such as these Kentucky country boys. The live vocals of Chris Robertson were also very good as well, just as good as the CD and maybe even better. The band played favorites like "Rain Wizard," "Lonely Train" and even a Muddy Waters cover that rocked bigtime with a monster soulful solo that really made it stand out. Usually blues/rock doesn't do it for me, but musicians this good are hard to not like. BSC is one great band. See them at all costs.

The wench I dated a few months back was from Edmonton, so I went down there (I'm lucky we made it, she drove like Ray Charles). The town is tiny but the folks were nice and now they got bragging rights to another great band! A rock band this time!

Heaven Hill, Smooooooth: Breckinridge is history, but in its place is a darn good replacement: Heaven Hill.

Formed by former Breckinridge members bassist Teague Ridge and vocalist Chuck Willis, Heaven Hill is a bit simpler, heavier and more to the point than Breckinridge was, but the biggest difference is the change in Chuck Willis' vocals, which seem like a million miles away from the Element H/Breckinridge days. I'm listening to the song "Wait For Me" and it's hard to believe this is Chuck singing. He's gotten soooo much better as a singer and frontman. I'm not saying he used to suck, but the style simply wasn't me.

Gone are the traits that made me dislike Chuck's vocals of yesteryear, replaced by the confidence and vocal talent of someone whose experience had benefited him greatly. "Wait For Me" is a pretty darn good song and should definitely get them some notice. The rocking song "Redneck" is a hard rocker of a tune and actually makes you feel like a redneck while listening. It made me wanna punch someone in the beak!

As a metalhead, I fully admit I was never really into Breckinridge, but this new stuff is quite good and much ballsier in my opinion. Heaven Hill is all about the groove and feel and not so much how complicated or long they can make the song. You can see Chuck and the boys at the Hill on February 23, with guests Never The Man and Born Broken.

Meanwhile check out the songs I mentioned. Then you'll want to punch someone in the beak too. Myspace.com/heavenhill

MSD, Stormcrow Rising: The long-awaited CD from Louisville ex-shock rockers MSD is entitled Stormcrow and will be released on February 2 at Headliners. I'll do a full review of it in the March issue. The guys have spent a lot of time and money making this new CD happen and I'm sure it's going to do well. MSD has been around since I was putting on my concert series at the Toy Tiger and they have become veteran Louisville rockers. Besides MSD, catch special guests 7Daysun, Institution and Dear Enemy. Sounds like a great lineup! To hear a few tracks off of "Stormcrow," go to Myspace.com/MSDspace.

A Power Metal Explosion: April 2 at Headliners, The Swedes invade, bringing destruction in their wake in the form of rip-your-face-off music. Sweden's The Haunted and Dark Tranquility and Canada's Into Eternity will be ripping it up bigtime. Fans of dark/thrashy/death metal should love this show, so make plans now. Those of you who like Slayer better not miss The Haunted, they rule! Dark Tranquility and Into Eternity are killer too, so don't miss out on this weird, but very cool metal show in April! I love The Haunted, so my ugly mug will be there! Don't beat me up.

A New Louisville Rock Showcase: Lisa Lincoln has a new original music showcase at Main Street Lounge, which caters to more of the not-so-heavy Louisville bands. If you are interested in getting on one of her Friday night gigs, contact her at 417-9709. She's a very cool wench who is a good friend, supporter and an ally to have on your side. If she likes you, she'll promote the heck out of your band. So be niiiiice:)

Youth Against Poverty Benefit / DVD: On Saturday, March 17 you can see several good bands do a good deed for the poor children of the world. Born Broken , Subrosa, Heaven Hill, Last To Reconcile and The Weeks Notice will be putting on a benefit in Brandenburg, Kentucky. They will also be filming a live DVD. All proceeds go towards the starving children fund! Great cause and this is Born Broken's CD Release show! So get out there and support this great new band from Brandenburg and the noble cause they've chosen with this benefit. It will be worth the drive. It's a great lineup! (See info in Upcoming Shows.)

Thorn On The Rise: Louisville rockers Thorn are getting quite a decent buzz going about their new band and in a short time, I might add! Lots of people seem to like their radio-rock-ballad style and the voice of Keith Warren. If you get a chance to see this excellent new band, don't hesitate. Nice guys, good music.

Mindset Reviewed: I'm sittin' here on Myspace checking out the musical goods about the new metal band Mindset. I like it quite a bit. From the start of "The Coming Of Nothing," you kinda get sucked into the catchy, but heavy riffs of guitarists Scott Holston and Frank Campbell. Vocalist Mark Gilley can sing, has some good range and much melody. He kinda reminds me bigtime of John Bush of Anthrax and Armored Saint. And that is great compliment, indeed, because John Bush is a helluva singer. The music is heavy, down-tuned riffage with an Alice In Chains "Dirt" feel almost, but a bit heavier. I'm digging this new band of experienced players. The song "Succumb" is kind of evil sounding guitarwise, but the melodic vocals are still there, which works well with the mean guitar.

This band is a compilation of a lot of metal styles, all rolled into one big tortilla of good time chaos. I do hear a lot of Eighties-influenced metal, which isn't a bad thing. Some of the guitar leads sound pretty good and mean, almost Zak Wyld-ish in his infamous pinch harmonic style. After hearing this, now I'm stoked about seeing them live! The last song on here is "Bad Actors," which starts out with a Disturbed-meets-Judas-Priest sound that fargin rocks! This is a great new band that I predict will do very well, because no one is doing this type of stuff around here. You can see Mindset on Friday, March 2 at Phoenix Hill with fellow metal bands Antikythera, 16 Bones, Sulfate and Boom Orangutan.

Bride / Steve Osbourne Review: I got this CD in the mail from a Christian metal band. I was thinking "ooohhhh Loooorrrrd!" I was in for a musical treat, though. At first I thought my CD player was acting a fool, but it was an intentional musical techno mindfarg. The title tune, "Skin 4 Skin," is pretty darn heavy, yet melodic and rockin bigtime!

Bride is a three-piece, heavy metal Christian band from West Point, Kentucky this is not new to playing music; they have been around for two decades, touring Brazil, Scandinavia and others, playing their style of positive metal dedicated to God. It's very strange that I've not heard that much of them! Because they wail.

One could never tell by the music, which has massive metal groove! The vocals of Dale Thompson are impressive and sound kind of Eighties sounding, in a Judas-Priest-meets-Gun-'N'-Roses way, but can also change into almost anything needed for the music, including a screechy, near Marilyn Manson-type vocal sound. He has the falsetto vibrato technique down pat and definitely has the range to blow some listeners away. I reckon the dude can sing any style he fargin feels like. He rocks! His brother Troy Thompson's guitars are low, thrashy, heavy, and crunchy beyond belief and possess some bluesy solos that sound like Slash or something. Bassist Lawrence Bishop and drummer Jerry McBroom are very good and are tight as can be. Punchy is an understatement!

I like a lot of the songs on their new Skin 4 Skin CD: It really is easy to listen to! And I'm a pretty picky bastard. This is top quality musicianship. Move over Stryper, here comes Bride. The tracks "Skin 4 Skin," "End Of Days," "Breathless" and "The Government" are the best from the CD. Cover band guitarist extraordinaire Steve Osbourne (99MPH) contributed several nice solos to the CD as well, a scorcher of a riff in the song "Inside Ourselves" and a monster Alice in Chains- sounding blues scale in " Hard To Kick," plus some unreal leads in "Super Ego Star." I don't understand why such a great guitarist plays in a Top-40 cover band. He should be touring the world playing his own music! Dude is unreal on guitar.

Christian music or not, these guys rock and only on close inspection of the lyrics, can you tell they are on the side of light. Check out Bride and a few tracks off of Skin 4 Skin at Myspace.com/Bridemusic.

XS Out Of Commission: The killer Eighties metal cover band has had some bad luck. The band was playing a gig at the Hill when vocalist Tim Mullins jumped like David Lee Roth and apparently came down on his knee in a bad way. People told me he played it cool as he could, but his face turned bright red and he was suppressing a scream of agony. His knee swelled up to the size of his waist and he had to go to the hospital and will be out of commission for several months. To top that problem off, Tim has no way to pay the bills now and is in desperate need. So if any of you can contribute to a fellow rocker in need, or has any ideas to help Tim, contact him at Xsrocksyou@yahoo.com, or 502-494-6892. Tim is a great guy, so please do what you can.

Boom Orangutan: There's a new sludgerock bad boy in town (in this case, an orange monkey with a boomerang ready to crack you in your nugget) and he's down with a mighty groove. Boom Orangutan is the entity I'm yakking about, a stoner rock endeavor much in the vein of desert stoner demons Kyuss. I like early Nineties sludge metallers Kyuss, so I found the Boom boys pretty fargin' cool and with much groove in that Queens Of The Stone Age-ish style. The members of BO (not body odor) are experienced musicians but agree this is their best project to date. The guitars are loud, grooving and have that ultra-low, muddy, stoner metal guitar tone that is a "no nonsense" assault on body and ears. Vocalist Todd Coffey has a decent melodic voice that seems to fit in nicely with the thick riffage. Simple but soulful. At first I was like "WTF is up with this stupid monkey logo?" But then I checked out the jams and I was suddenly "a Boomster" and down with the monkey, enough to offer them a show immediately. Ha.

So if you love stoner-groove, being laid back and rockin, then you got to jump on the back of the orangutan, Boom Orangutan that is! Myspace.com/boomorangutan. You can see them at Phoenix Hill on Friday, March 2 with Antikythera, 16 Bones, Mindset and Sulfate.

New Band Alert: 4 Storie Failure: Former members of Plan Of Man, Unity Of Sols have formed a Godsmack/Mudvayne-sounding band that will be ready to gig out in a month or so. Check them out at Myspace.com/4storiefailure.

Vocalist Needed: A progressive rock/metal band that I know is looking for a frontman with great singing ability, melody and stage presence. Must be reliable and able to jam often. I just heard these guys' demo tape and it's very good; they just need the right voice to be seriously kickin'. They have a sound like Tool, Sevendust and Flaw. Contact the band at 502-931-9705.

UpcomingShows

ThirdStreetDive

Saturday, February 10 - Red Hot Devil Nite, Easyriders, Arcaine Saint. 9 p.m.

The Bulldog Cafe

Sunday, February 4 - Alesana, Endwell, A Day To Remember with Louisville acts Hamstring the Horses Burn the Chariots and Grace I Am. All-Ages. $10.

Saturday, February 10 - Holbrook, Signal Fading (CD Release), Last To Reconcile and Voice Of Reason.

Saturday, February 17 - Fermata and 7DaySun.

Expo 5

Saturday, February 24 - The Louisville Underground Festival: Assisting Sorrow, Caldera, Demon Wind, Sowing Discord, Dying Kind, Holbrook, Maude Flanders, Surviving Thalia and Sinaria. $12. All-Ages. 5:30 p.m.

Headliners

Friday, February 2 - 7DaySun, MSD, Institution and Dear Enemy.

Friday, February 9 - Intheclear, Kinsey, Return To Self and Subrosa.

Wednesday, February 21 - Mastodon, Priestess and Stonecutters.

Sunday, March 11 - Powerman 5000, Flaw, Fall For Nothing, Anvil Grey, I Sleepwalker and Morning Augment. 6:30 p.m.

Main Street Lounge

Friday, February 2 - The Big.

Friday, February 9 - Lotus Blake and Andrea Davidson.

Friday, February 16 - Digby and Zongo.

Friday, March 2 - "The Nate 'Dawg' Robinson Benefit and Action for the Nate Robinson Foundation.

The Corner

Thursday, March 1 - Sevendust w/ Diecast and T.B.A. 7 p.m.

Petrus

Thursday, February 8 - "The Give A Buddy A Lung Benefit"

Stage 1: Anvil Grey, Dye Hollow, Incursion, False, D3g's. Stage 2: See Emily Play, Anton Mink, Never the Man, Institution, 9VoltRevolt. 7 p.m. $10.

Phoenix Hill Tavern

Friday, February 2 - Original Rock Showcase Series: Almost Noah, Broken Vault, Dogwater, Point Of Real and I Will Defy. 8 p.m.

Friday, March 2 - Original Rock Showcase Series: Antikythera, Mindset, 16 Bones, Boom Orangutan and Sulfate. 8 p.m.

Friday, April 6 - Original Rock Showcase Series: Heaven Hill, Evil Engine # 9, Kinsey, Thorn and Hearsay Theory. 8 p.m.

Uncle Pleasants

Friday, February 9 - Shinerunners and Sunday Valley.

Saturday, March 3 - Surviving Thalia, Stonecutters and T.B.A.

Wick's Pizza on Dixie

Sunday, February 4 - Arcaine Saint. 9 p.m.

Outtatownerz and Otherz

Saturday, March 10 at Beechwood Park in Scottsburg Indiana - Escaping Memory, Antikythera and Surviving Thalia. $5 All-Ages.

Saturday, March 17 at the Meade County Fairgrounds in the Farm Bureau Building, in Brandenburg Kentucky. Youth Against Poverty Benefit Show - Born Broken, Subrosa, Heaven Hill, The Weeks Notice and Last To Reconcile. 7 p.m. All-Ages. $7

Props of the Month

Friday Night Live is the name of a new rock showcase at Main Street Lounge, which is the brainchild of Lisa Lincoln, a very cool woman who has been working her butt off trying to help the scene the best she can. She never asks for rewards for her contribution and would help anybody who bothered to ask. This gal is a genuinely nice person who would do anything for you and is a credit to this music scene. Her shows are every Friday night and she also does some other things at MSL like, bachelorette parties, Fantasy, Alumni, Birthdays, whatever, she'll hook you up, so give her a holler. Myspace.com/diggetygirl, or 417-9709.